Doodads and the kitchen dorkette

If it’s true that our parents watch over us after they die, then perhaps Mom is chuckling at her daughter the dorkette.

Maybe Dad is too.

Mom would have many reasons to snicker, but the star of this story is a Rival Kitcheneer grinder.

That last “eer” part of the name makes the grinder sound pioneering, doesn’t it?

Perhaps that is appropriate because this handy little tool being manual, it involves more labor than, say, a small drill or sander. Not much more, and there’s the advantage of being able to use it during a power failure.

Seeing my fascination with her large-and-in-charge model, Mom gave me the handy Kitcheneer years ago.

Most often, the small device produced pretty good chicken salad made with leftovers and seasoned with whatever was handy.

For months after its arrival, the doodad was quite the kitchen rage. Then one day it began to stay on a shelf more often, then began to lurk wa-a-a-y in the back.

However, even through moves and cleaning bursts, the Kitcheneer and all of its parts remained part of the family.

Or so the perfect little grouping of gizmos implied.

One day recently, leftover chicken in the ‘fridge began sending subliminal messages about chicken salad. Mother’s Day being near, the Kitcheneer came to mind, came off the shelf, went together easily.


A part was missing–a knob that attaches the cranking arm to the rest of the gadget.

Now enter Dad, whose unofficial military title was “Tech Order” because…

He. Saved. Every. Document.

Makes perfect sense. Because you never know when that aged, yellowing snip of paper will come in handy.

The pocket-sized booklet for the Rival Kitcheneer grinder remained. Alongside documents for devices (electric) that gave out years ago. Directions showed a tiny picture of the Handle Locking Knob, part number 993-098.

The picture and official title confirmed the absence of said knob. So did a search of the shelf, kitchen junk drawer, junk drawer annex, and junk closet.

However, in true Kitcheener spirit, we decided that if the Vacuum-Grip Base, part number 997-253, properly grabbed the counter, the Handle Assy., part number 997-026, would stay in place without the knob because the handle slips over a shaft.

We were correct.

The chicken salad tastes delicious.

Still, the search goes on for the Handle Locking Knob, which likely went to a local thrift store. Luckless foraging continued in thrift store junk boxes. Maybe someone bought the part for a quarter and it is now continuing a useful existence.

Helpful online shoppers, please note: Rival apparently has bowed to more fashionable kitchen users. The company no longer sells parts to the Kitcheneer on the website.

Parts appear to be available on the popular auction site that everyone knows. The dorkette didn’t feel like logging in.

The quest also led to a site with “last ditch” in its name. And that is where the story ends.

For now.