2015 gardening plan for Don Quixotes everywhere

It’s the time of year to rake over the scars of last year’s gardening wounds and work toward a better year. Since many of us like to follow the calendar when we garden, maybe others will derive some benefit from my month-by-month gardening plan. *

*Note: This plan is for Texas gardeners (all zones). Those in other planting zones should adjust activities accordingly.

January. Get a new Leaf Hog to replace the one with the motor that blew out when it sucked up the rag that was buried under leaves. (New Year’s resolution: scour the yard before leaves fall.)

February.  Consider whether to use Leaf Hog indoors. Decide it’s a bad idea when you read an item that says “You might be a redneck gardener if you’ve ever cleaned your house with a leaf-blower.” Wonder if just thinking about it counts.

March: Uncover outdoor faucets. Decide that wearing a coat over a sweatshirt and two T-shirts makes moving too difficult to do anything else.

Mid March: Re-cover outdoor faucets. Find the packet of wildflower seeds that you were looking for last October. Put them in a safe place.

April: In a recurring bout of amnesia, buy plants based on pictures in seed catalogs and on the front of seed packets.

Mid April: Uncover outdoor faucets, Act II. Pull weeds.

May: Look toward the sky hopefully and read the newspaper for watering times to figure out if there are daylight hours to water grass. Resolve (again) to replace grass with something that can be watered after 6 p.m. as the wind usually blows from daylight until 10 a.m. Realize that only gardeners think about these things and count on next-door neighbor’s spray to water grass.

Mid-May: Pull weeds previously pulled in April. Collect neighbor’s leaves and stand on ladder to turn compost pile.

June: Buy new hoses while reminding self to be skeptical of descriptive four-letter words (KINK-FREE!) on package description.

July: In a recurring bout of amnesia, buy new hose-end sprinkler based on package description. Decide weeds you thought you pulled in April and May look OK where they are, as they are green.

August: Push index finger through sprinkler control while trying to reset it to water 30 minutes one day a week. Nurture thriving weeds by doing nothing.

September: Replace sprinkler control and ask installer for graphic manual instructions to go with it.

October: Hunt for wildflower seeds you safely stored away last March.

November: Take class in setting sprinkler control.

December: Remember that the Christmas cactus should have gone into dark closet in October. Buy blooming Christmas cactus. Think about what you want to do in the garden in January.

Happy New Year!